You're not the only one

How are you really doing?

The question worth asking, yourself and a mate.

You're not alone

'How are you really doing?' is the question most of us skate past, for ourselves and for the people we care about. Men especially can find it hard to say how they actually feel. A small, honest reach-out matters more than we think, and it's often the thing someone is waiting for.

What can help

• Ask someone the real question, 'how are you really doing?', and mean it. Then listen.
• You don't need the perfect words. Showing up clumsily beats not showing up.
• Check in on the mate who's gone quiet. Quiet is often the signal.
• Let people in on how you're really doing too. It gives them permission to do the same.
• Use the message tool below to reach out to a mate right now.